The Search for a Passion Project

87 days ago I published my first newsletter; in that newsletter, I described my why for writing along with my overarching goal for each weeks publishing. While my why for writing - the ability to take the details of my finite experiences and illustrate universal experiences and emotions that a broader audience can connect to - has not changed, I'd like to share the changes in my writing goals.

If you were one of my first few subscribers, you might remember reading these goals; if you are new here - welcome! - here are my original goals: 

• To write a not-too-serious, hopefully entertaining, but most importantly, informative narrative making sense of the wild things, wild people, and wild places I encounter

• To take a deep dive into these experiences through an outcome-based lens

Some of you have realized that my last few blog posts (Suits, Statistics and Serendipity, (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right, and The Compassion Ladder) have a much different melody to them than some of my original pieces (Hourglasses and Tree Stands or my Solo Hiking the Foothills series). In those original pieces, I was in pursuit of achieving the goals outlined above, and in doing so, my writing blossomed into reflective narratives of my experiences with the wilderness and the wildness of human nature. 

The truth is that I loved writing those pieces. Each week when I sat down to start writing I was transported to a room filled with soft sunlight pouring through a white-cased bay window. The mahogany-colored wood paneled floors were splattered with paint and canvases - some full, some blank - lined the curvature of the room. The window was an east-facing portal to rolling hills speckled with yellow and purple wildflowers where the sky was in a perpetual state of sunrise. 

This room was as safe as it was beautiful. I wrote about what I knew and distanced myself from writing about what I don't know. 

But that's the issue: I get bored when life seems too safe. Growing up, my dad called me Haley Danger because wherever I went, disruption always seemed to follow me. Wherever I was, things were being tripped on, objects were toppling over and breaking, there was dirt and bruises, and most of all, there was a mess. Today, I still wholeheartedly welcome mess into my life, although it doesn't look like a dirty bedroom floor anymore, it looks like a love of learning and a larger-than-life curiosity about every topic on the planet that touches the human experience pulling my mind in 8 different directions in a busy intersection all at once. 

Lately, I have been obsessed with finding my passion project - a piece of work that I can engross myself in such that one day down the twisty path of life, it will replace my 9 to 5 job. I am interested in more subject matters than I can count and the task of narrowing my interests to a general theme I both enjoy and can really make a difference in seems daunting. However, I found that through writing, I have encountered more breakthroughs, calmness, resolution, and direction than through meditation and soul-seeking combined.

Through writing, I will be exploring my current interests and obsessions to the point that they either become my passion project or I thank them for their time and find a new interest to explore. Rinse, repeat. 

In "version 2" of Insane in the Membrane I will be venturing away from my beautiful bay window. My backdrop might look something like busy city streets, a playground rippling with bouncing children, inside a dimly lit therapist's office, or a lecture hall. There may be times I resort back to my paint-splattered room but I will be spending most of my time outside of those walls, pushing new boundaries, writing about things I don't know anything about in pursuit of knowing and understanding them wholly, being challenged, being the challenger, and most of all, following my interests in hopes they carry me to the communities and environments that will help me bring my passion project to life (whatever it may be). 

With all of this in mind, I have been trying to decide which of my interests I want to take by the hand and walk for a good long while with first. With the help of some timely conversations - some by design and others by the grace of serendipity - regarding my strengths, my soul, and my desires - I have landed on three themes that will shape my writing goals for this newsletter: 

1. Mental Models 

   1. Why? If you are anything like me, you might frequently experience information fatigue - the stress caused by the overconsumption of, well, you guess it: information. When I am attempting to learn a new topic, I find myself jumping back and forth between multiple resources. Oftentimes, these resources do a poor job alone educating me on a topic, and even when they do, I walk away only being able to repeat the words back in a highly technical fashion - not in a fashion I can retain for myself and use to educate others. That is where mental models come into play. Mental models explain how something works by giving you tools to understand life, make decisions, and solve problems. My goal is to provide a mental framework that will help guide your perception and behavior to better understand the world (even if it is just a small corner of it).

2. Emotional Psychology

   1. Why? I learned as early as high school that psychology was fascinating to me and the more knowledge I gained, the more I became deeply enraptured with the mind, emotions, and expressed human behavior. Emotional psychology is the scientific study of emotions and how they relate to thoughts, behavior, and culture, and its applications are endless from education to social and cultural contexts to artificial intelligence. Without understanding the psychological underpinnings of emotions and their impact on the world around us, we will always be 10 layers removed from the truth. My goal is to share a layer of depth in my writing by digging into and deconstructing emotional psychology to bring us closer to the truth.

3. Daring Leadership

   1. Why? Leadership, to me, is not a title, it is not synonymous with power, and there is no golden gate preventing any one of us from becoming a leader. A leader is anyone who seeks to find the potential in people and leans into the courage to develop that potential. What really sets my heart on fire is observing the leaders that are daring, brave, and vulnerable in their work. Their leadership is active, not passive; it is the lens they see the world through. My goal is to use my writing to unravel the layers of leadership such that I can become a more daring leader and encourage you to do the same.

This year, I have big goals for growing this newsletter to reach a broader audience and I would love your help getting there! If you think the topics above might resonate with a friend, a family member, or a stranger on the street, please consider passing my newsletter along - it would be greatly appreciated. 

I am sincerely excited to welcome the challenge that comes with stepping outside of my comfort zone into an era of boundless possibility and the opportunity to share it with you. Thanks for being on this journey with me; I am happy you're here.

Finally, it took long enough, but I was finally able to transcribe my letter to the Senate (6 scrapped pieces of paper later). She's going to the post office tomorrow!